Understanding And Giving the Benefit of Doubt = Charity

Well for one, the understanding part is a command not a suggestion in Proverbs 8:5 And in 1 Corinthians 13 (the charity chapter ) in verse 5 and 6 it says charity...."thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth." So there's that beautiful charity giving the benefit of doubt not suspicion. 

  Proverbs 8:5b

......... be ye of an understanding heart.

When my girls asked me," Mom what is understanding?" I told them it is like stepping out of your shoes and standing in someone else's shoes. So Julianna stood in Sara's shoes and they were bigger, neater and clean. And Sara stood in Julianna's and they were smaller, wider, tore up and let's just say, extremely "played in". 

 

Taking time to stand in the shoes of someone else and realizing the road they have traveled, is stepping out of your world and into theirs. However, misunderstanding is when we miss it. It's when we don't stand in the right shoes, and less face it, we are not going to get it right every time.  I've misunderstood and Ive been misunderstood, some of that is my fault and some of that is not. Some times, after one has heard the whole story and stood in your shoes they will then say, "That's understandable!" And I believe for the most part people want to understand. 

For instance, when I took a break from Facebook here 3 months ago, that was me following God. I couldn't concern myself with who would be upset and who wouldn't,  I just had to do it. No, I did not have a Facebook addiction, no I wasn't living on it, I hardly kept up with it, but it was impressed upon my heart to do it for reasons I didn't fully understand at the time but now I see clearly, but thats another blog for another day. Anyway, as I was doing my Facebook exit, my mother posted, " Cheerio!" I responded, "and all that rot." Now from first glance, this could look rude on both are parts. my Mom for saying, "Cheerio!" and me for saying "and all that rrrrrrot.;)" but.....if you knew me and my Mom this is an inside joke from about 20 years ago, I say that EVERY single time she says that.  My Mom is full Scott (born and raised, and I was born there) the rolled " rrrrrrrr" for rot implies a scottish accent. Anyway, this had absolutely no relevance to me leaving Facebook. But to those who do not know me, or the inside joke from 20 years ago, it could be misunderstood for ......you name it. It could mean anything really, without benefit of doubt being given. So next time, I'll keep the inside joke, "inside" because on a platform like Facebook, its not the best place for inside jokes cause they'll need to be explained and most people arent hanging around for that. Also, I don't want to offend people needlessly, I want to keep misunderstandings at a minimum. But it's understandable when the whole picture is clear. 

Also when we say, "I'm just gettin in the way," after someone comes up to us and compliments how hard we have worked all week but we know we haven't been there all week,  in my family, "Oh I'm just getting in the way, (with a smile) ",  is a modest way to praise your fellow over yourself. This in no way means we are disgruntled in ANY way. Its just the workers have been so outstanding that to compliment me is humbling, because I didn't do hardly anything. That comment is solely meant to defer praise to someone else. If I had a true complaint, why would I express it to a visitor or guest or stranger anyway? That's wrong on so many levels. But if you didn't know me, of just passed by and didn't hear the whole conversation, this too could be misunderstood. There is nothing I can change here, you would have had to hear the whole conversation, see my smile, here my voice and hear the other visitor laugh as well. It's understandable when the whole picture is made clear. 

Another example, my husband LOVES to tease me. So do most people, actually. Its like Im wearing a shirt that says, "Please tease me! " And he always says, if I was thin-skinned it would be terrible and if he had a "hag" or a touchy-touchy wife he would be in trouble. And he's not the only one,  I was just told by my Chiropractor that he also loves picking on me cause my personality takes it and I just chuckle. But when John picks at me, sometimes, he is misunderstood and some men are scared to death, and look at me like, "uh- oh!" ( John said you can tell when there is a problem with who is the boss in the home when a man is afraid to laugh) But when he makes jokes and I play along or laugh, or dish a little back, that's our dynamic. It may not work for others. But because I know he's cutting up, I'm fine, no biggy. This is just something you would just have to ask me about or give the benefit of doubt to us until you just got to know us better, cause if you're not careful you could misunderstand and actually take John seriously or me when I give him the "evil eye"....😜.

Also, when my husband asks me to leave a place or an event or a function early, for important reasons, this  can be misunderstood too. Nope, I'm not mad or angry or bored,or indifferent,  just following directions, so benefit of doubt or a quick question, " Hey, why did you take off early?" would make for less misunderstandings here too. Leaving early could really be looked at as bad behaviour or a bad attitude without any benefit of doubt given. 

Whew! That was alot but needful for me and well worth that hour.  Thanks and we are wishing you the best understandable day you've ever had 😊

Verse on charity and giving benefit of doubt.....

I Corinthians 13:5-6

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth.